- Advent calendars. The kids opened and ate all 25 days in one sitting and are now higher than that time you experimented in college.
- Scheduling. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (sobs as iPhone call display shows 48 missed calls from the In Laws.)
- Gifts. Too many have been purchased that involve assembly, batteries or a computer science degree.
- Flu season. The kids vacillate between a hacking cough, a ropey nose and a low-grade fever. Or all three if it’s between the hours of 9pm and 9am.
- Shopping. While dragging kids around with you. This. Is. Pure. Hell.
- Decorations. Can’t find any from last year. Forced to buy them again at full price, only to find them when you pack away this year’s decors.
- Baking. Failed attempts to re-create even the simplest recipes from Pinterest have resulted into two grease fires and one suspected case of salmonella.
- Daddy. His office is open during the holidays (suspect), leaving you to run Operation Stir Crazy Kids solo.
- Snow. A white Christmas is pretty in songs, but this last dump of the stuff threw your back out, along with the furnace.
- The Visa Bill. You’re seeing red and all out of green.
DRINK: Eggnog. Book a babysitter, brave the snow, hit a holiday party and enjoy a glass of festive cheer. By “festive cheer” this of course means “add rum”.
BUY: The ultimate stocking stuffer, Reasons Mommy Drinks. “I bought 8 copies for all the other reindeer!”-Rudolph