Mommy had barely issued your birth announcement when people started asking her when she was going to give you a little brother or sister. And now that your first birthday has come and gone, Mommy can’t go a day without being confronted with the question. It comes from all directions: in-laws, colleagues, some random middle-aged guy in the Starbucks line, and it’s almost always accompanied by unsolicited advice about the importance of perfectly timing the age difference between siblings (according to the latest perspective on the subject from a totally credible news source like msn.com or Tori Spelling’s twitter feed.) But the question most often comes from other new Mommies, disguised as actual interest in Mommy’s life, but truly a cry for help along the lines of: “If I’m going down this miserable road again, this time with toddler in tow, you better the hell be coming along with me!” And even worse than the questions are the prying eyes, scanning Mommy’s mid-section for clues (*Sigh* Mommy only wishes that was a baby bump…) and monitoring her wine consumption at social events, forcing her to make a big production of pouring herself a third glass of Cabernet which then haunts her the next morning when you wake up at 5 a.m.
DRINK: One-hit wonder. A shot of vodka over ice, consumed while listening to the sweet sounds of Deee-lite, Take That or Vanilla Ice. Whoever said “the more, the merrier” never endured 9 months of pregnancy.