Mommy wishes she was able to fully max out her vocabulary to appropriately colour how much being bashed in the head by a Mega Block REALLY FUCKING HURTS. But now that you’re repeating everything she says, she’s got to pull back the profanity full stop, even when it’s super warranted like when she can’t find her Starbucks card or Daddy forgets to put the seat down. Mommy now finds herself spelling out words at work, this meeting about a meeting is b-u-l-l-s-h-i-t. However, it’s not just Mommy’s potty mouth that needs a bar of Ivory soap. On the last car ride, Mommy cranked the Kiss FM and thought it was cute how you were rocking out along with her. Until you announced your arrival at Nana’s house by yelling “It’s Britney, bitch.”
DRINK: The Bleeped Out. 1oz Limoncello, 1oz vodka, teaspoon of sugar, a few raspberries and a basil leaf. Combine all ingredients in a highball glass and let sit in the fridge for 30 minutes or more. Add ice cubes and top with sparkling wine. Garnish with a slice of lemon, which you may need to suck on to stop you from saying holy fucking shit this is delicious.