It’s not just the coke-thin Hollywood moms that give Mommy a complex. The Celebri-tots look just as glam being carried by their nannies and dressed head to toe in Burberry Baby. Mommy shops off-the-sales-rack at H&M kids in a futile attempt to Keep Up with the Kardashi-babies. At least she can take comfort knowing that those silver Tiffany spoon-fed babies have the worst names ever (“Son, we named you after a paint colour.”) and their careers will peak on the reality show My Mom was a Celebrity and now I’m In Rehab premiering summer 2032. Besides Mommy is on trend, since having a baby is “the hottest accessory of the season” according to In Style. It’s just that sometimes she quietly wishes she also had a size zero figure and a Birkin bag to tote your diapers in.
DRINK: Mommy’s Lemonade Stand. 3 oz fresh lemon juice, 2 oz rye, 2 oz simple syrup. Combine ingredients and serve over ice. Garnish with lemon zest.