Since becoming a parent, Mommy has become that friend. Mommy used to shower her friends with birthday love. Now she’s the person who comments “Happy belated!” on her best friend’s “Thanks everyone for yesterday’s birthday wishes” Facebook status. In her pre-baby life, Mommy would never dream of missing a friend’s party. Now when invited to anything, Mommy finds herself replying to all with an eye-bleed-inducing play-by-play of the eighteen logistical details that need to fall into place before she can RSVP. Mommy’s just relieved for everyone’s safety that she’s been removed from all emergency contact lists, since her average response time to voicemail these days is 263 hours. The only reason* Mommy is able to get out of bed in the morning with the shame of her lacklustre performance in the friendship department weighing on her shoulders, is that thankfully most of her friends are in the same guilt-ridden boat. Except for the odd Mommy Multitastic who gives the illusion of seamlessly balancing career, family, and a Rolodex of friendships with one pinky, even though Mommy knows in reality her entire salary goes to domystuff.com.
*besides your 120-decibel 5:30 AM wake-up cries
DRINK: The Old Pal. 1 part Canadian Club, 1 part dry vermouth, 1 part campari. Shake over ice and strain into a glass garnished with a lemon twist. Ditch the to-do list tonight and call your favourite long lost friend. When she gets back to you in three weeks, it will be really amazing to catch up.
BUY THE BOOK: Pre-order your copy of Reasons Mommy Drinks with your favourite bookstore today.