Flickr/CC 2.0-BY/Golbenge
Like the cast of Days of our Lives, for years Mommy managed to evade the hands of time. Even after her 30th birthday, looking in the bathroom mirror through squinted eyes and with the dimmer switch fully engaged was like staring at a spitting image of her high school self (excluding the Sun-In spray damage and fashion crimes involving flannel.) But in recent months, the pace at which she’s burning through under-eye concealer is only one of countless clues that Mommy’s dreams of being cast in the 21st century revival of Oil of Olay’s “Bugsy Brown” ad campaign have officially died. Thankfully, Daddy is also aging at the speed of a time-lapse photography sequence in Planet Earth, but cheek-to-cheek with you in the most recent round of family portraits, Mommy was a dead ringer for Nick Nolte’s infamous 2002 mug shot. (Mommy should have known that Groupon offer was too good to be true. Grrr.) The sad state of Mommy’s skin shouldn’t come as much of a surprise, given chronic fatigue and drinking one’s weight in coffee once again evaded Glamour’s “Top 5 Anti-Aging Secrets” feature this year. And Mommy has spent about as much time tending to the skin around her eye area since your birth as she has to understanding the crisis in Syria. Of course you’re more than worth every wrinkle, line and adult acne scar; Mommy just wishes that on the days where she felt as incompetent as Teen Mom she at least looked the part.
DRINK: Fountain of Youth. 1 cup frozen blueberries, 1 cup frozen raspberries, 1 oz pomegranate juice, 1 peach, 1 apple, 2 cups spinach, 2 cups water. Blend all ingredients and serve. Loaded with anti-oxidants, this drink’s your best shot at one day being carded again, and still being able to register excitement on your face when it happens.
I HEAR YA!!! I feel like time has marched across my face wearing spiked shoes! BUT, my husband is turning gray quickly, and I only have had two grays!
Nice! No one says it as eloquently as Jamie! I too am magically blessed in the gray department. Maybe I just need to set my sights on Nice ‘n Easy vs. Olay.
I have plenty of “God’s Highlights” in my hair, and earned each and every one of them
The wrinkles I can do without, though!
Hahaha. Yes, I will rock the grey someday, but the wrinkles will never be welcome!
Given a typing speed of 60 wpm, and if you only spent the time writing this post worrying about the skin around your eyes, you have thought 10X more than I have about Syria. I am now reminded of how little contact I have with current events, and am sobbing hysterically. I’m glad you put a recipe for a drink, I need one now (that and a copy of the Economist, I guess)
Hahaha. It really is so sad. Does the Economist have a twitter feed? Baby steps!
So I’m only 7.5 months along and I already feel I’ve aged ten years. I have forehead crinkles, acne, dimply fat in places that didn’t used to be dimply and my skin looks ashen or flushed, mostly because I threw up so much for five months that baby girl used up my nutrient stores like a little tapeworm. Where does this leave me when she’s finally born?