The wonderful thing about spending $22 on a pair of baby chinos is that you outgrow them before we even leave the mall. At first Mommy was proud of your growth chart results as the pediatrician revealed your percentile for height and weight. Now the only thing growing faster than you is the mountain of outgrown onesies causing a fire hazard in the basement. She can’t give them away in case she has a second, even though “One and Done” is the Dr. Seuss book Mommy is considering ghost-writing. In an effort to cull back on trips to Babies R Us, Mommy has been cramming you in to clothes that no longer fit, just like Christina Aguilera. At this rate you’ll soon be wearing Daddy’s clothes. Mommy hopes late-century modern becomes a fashion trend ASAP because Daddy’s closet is the wardrobe that time forgot and includes every striped button down sold at The Gap in the 90s. Your growth spurts are giving you major mood swings and you no longer sleep through the night, but Mommy is happy you’re growing and healthy – plus you look rad in that oversized argyle skull sweater. For the next five minutes.
DRINK: A tall drink of water.
Just wait until the teen years hit — when they not only grow out of their clothes every 5 minutes but said clothes have to be the “right kind,” which generally cost 5 times as much as the “stupid ones.”
Fingers crossed that the George line at Wal-Mart is really, really cool in 13 years.
my kids are 4 and almost 3 and they are huge. Both are off the charts for height and almost off for weight. I can’t keep them in clothes! When my son was little, I gave away bags of clothes that he never wore because he shot out of everything so fast! Now I buy him cheap clothes at Kohls so if he grows out of them, I didn’t spend a ton. My daughter…well I still dress her up! But my mother in law pays for it!
When it comes to “the right” clothes, boys definitely don’t care as much. A girl could go bankrupt on shoes alone!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this wonderful blog, I just read all of it and I haven´t laughed so much since I had my baby boy ( almost a year old) or possibly never. I hope my neighbours dont think I have a new pet hyena
Thanks so much Eva! Congrats on making it through year one. It only gets easier from here.*
*actually does not get easier. Pour another drink.