Nothing used to make Mommy feel more relaxed than a bath. Bubbles, lavender scented candles and some Sade were all she needed to unwind. Now, bath time gives Mommy several mini heart attacks (fear of hypothermia / drowning / soap blindness) and it’s worse now that you keep trying to stand (fear of splitting head open on Moen faucet). Mommy is not sure who is more soaking after tub time: you or her. Then the other day you “dropped some kids off at the pool”. Weird face + making your own bubbles = suddenly you’re bathing in feces. Mommy briefly felt triumphant after she successfully held you squirming and slippery while using the massage feature on the hand wand to beat last night’s mushy peas down the drain. Then you peed on her.
DRINK: Liquid Drano. 1 oz light rum, 1 oz blueberry schnapps, 3 oz blue Gatorade. Serve on the rocks in a highball glass with frozen blueberries for garnish. Enjoy on a non-slip surface.
I HATE bath time. HATE!! HATE!!!
When he’s a tween I’ll be praying he takes a shower, but for now, bath time is not high on my list.
This is hysterical! I actually laughed out loud at my desk (yes, I am supposed to be working)! The first time one of our boys sh*t in the tub was when mama was on her girls weekend away & daddy phoned in a massive panic about what to do. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Safe to say all of us moms had a good laugh about that! I am new to your blog & just want to say thank you for the never ending humor, raising children is the toughest job EVER! Keep up the good work!
I actually thought we were over Tub Poo. That is, until last night. I guess for kids shitting in the tub is like a water birth?? (too far?)
My son only pood in the water when I bathed him…never my husband. I couldn’t understand why and finally I broke down and frustrated, asked him “Honey..why do you poop in the tub when Mommy bathes you?” His response in typical 2-year old fashion is ”It’s funny when Mommy gets grossed out”. I only let my husband bathe him now.