“When are you having a second?”

15 Mar
Mommy had barely issued your birth announcement when people started asking her when she was going to give you a little brother or sister. And now that your first birthday has come and gone, Mommy can’t go a day without being confronted with the question. It comes from all directions: in-laws, colleagues, some random middle-aged guy in the Starbucks line, and it’s almost always accompanied by unsolicited advice about the importance of perfectly timing the age difference between siblings (according to the latest perspective on the subject from a totally credible news source like msn.com or Tori Spelling’s twitter feed.) But the question most often comes from other new Mommies, disguised as actual interest in Mommy’s life, but truly a cry for help along the lines of:  “If I’m going down this miserable road again, this time with toddler in tow, you better the hell be coming along with me!”  And even worse than the questions are the prying eyes, scanning Mommy’s mid-section for clues (*Sigh* Mommy only wishes that was a baby bump…) and monitoring her wine consumption at social events, forcing her to make a big production of pouring herself a third glass of Cabernet which then haunts her the next morning when you wake up at 5 a.m.
 
DRINK:  One-hit wonder. A shot of vodka over ice, consumed while listening to the sweet sounds of Deee-lite, Take That or Vanilla Ice.  Whoever said “the more, the merrier” never endured 9 months of pregnancy.
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12 Responses to ““When are you having a second?””

  1. Stephanie March 16, 2012 at 6:13 am #

    I have three girls, aged 4, 2 and 6 months. At least once a week I get asked by strangers “are you going to try for a boy?” My youngest is 6 months!!! Gotta love the “interested” strangers.

    • fiona & lyranda March 18, 2012 at 8:43 am #

      That is awesome. I think I would dress the 6-month-old as a boy in public, to keep the strangers at bay. Am I a terrible person?

    • JJ April 6, 2012 at 4:25 pm #

      “Sure, are you going to try for a hernia?” Would be my response. People need to mind their own damn business.

  2. thelifeofjamie March 17, 2012 at 10:05 am #

    I wear a sign that says my husband had a vasectomy…usually keeps the questioners at bay.

    • fiona & lyranda March 18, 2012 at 8:44 am #

      LOL! Million $ business idea!

      • Tracy Sullivan March 19, 2012 at 12:32 pm #

        Ha. Ha. A vasectomy t-shirt line.

        The opposite is the t-shirt for pregnant women that reads “I grow people what’s YOUR superpower?

  3. mommywantsatimeout April 6, 2012 at 9:44 pm #

    TOTALLY sympathize…I’ve been hearing that for 4 years now, and though a million sharp retorts cross through my mind every time, I try to be polite and simply say, “No plans right now.” The truth is, I don’t think I can go back to the sleepless nights…Mommy is weak, very weak…

    Thanks for checking out my blog, BTW!

    • Reasons Mommy Drinks April 9, 2012 at 1:06 pm #

      You’re so welcome! BTW, Mommy’s weakness has been painfully exposed recently with the return of sleepless nights. Damn you sleep regression!

  4. englishlara April 11, 2012 at 6:38 pm #

    You are hilarious. I get the same question all the time. Although I do want another pretty soon, I feel like people often overstep their bounds with this kind of prodding. Is it really any of their business? P.S. Maybe part of the reason I want to be pregnant is to have a cute alternative to my current muffin top.

    • Reasons Mommy Drinks April 27, 2012 at 2:55 pm #

      Thanks for your comments. So happy you can relate! p.s. Muffin tops are totally in this season!

  5. Mommy Madness April 26, 2012 at 12:33 pm #

    I’m tempted to “like” every single post I’ve read so far. You are hilarious!

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