Mommy can’t believe she’s going to pay a teenager $40 to sit in her living room for three hours (texting her boyfriend and eating Mommy’s cappuccino frozen yogurt directly from the tub) while you lie sleeping in your crib upstairs the entire time. But Mommy and Daddy figured that to avoid becoming a statistic, they should spend the occasional Saturday night doing something other than eating take-out thai food in front of Grey’s Anatomy, only to doze off before the latest iteration of “Doctor rips off nurse’s clothes in the medical supply room.” Dressed in her standby LBD and rocking her volumizing mascara, Mommy’s actually feeling pretty hot, until the sitter with Angelina legs sprouting from a skirt the size of a Bella Band greets her at the front door with a “Hi Mrs….” At least Mommy gets to enjoy a fancy dinner at the trendy new Italian eatery on the west west side of town that the single crew keeps checking into on Facebook. Until she does the mental math on the evening’s expenses and realizes that this ravioli dish (that she could “totally make at home” slash buy in the frozen food aisle) is costing her $18 per mouthful. Making conversation is challenging when Mommy and Daddy are both sleep deprived and checking their phones every two minutes to make sure you haven’t catapulted out of your crib or started a fire. And downing a bottle of red wine isn’t an option when someone has to drive the babysitter home at the end of the night to avoid blowing another $20 on cab fare. At these rates, Mommy and Daddy are going to have to crack some serious social whip. No more Jennifer Aniston movies or double dates with B-list couples until your 13th birthday.
DRINK: A $12 merlot and a pizza delivery menu. Sometimes it pays to be boring.
I feel like i need to just leave a kidney at the door to pay for a babysitter sometimes. I’m lucky my in-laws are almost always available! I pay 12 bucks an hour! I used to make 3.75 when I babysat!
*Sigh* In-laws. If only they weren’t another reason mommy drinks.
I love this! I don’t know if I can handle the pressure of going out if it’s going to cost the same amount as a full day at the spa.
So true! And at least I can submit the massage receipt to my benefits plan.
seriously? 40 bucks?! oh man, to live in Toronto.. try 20 bucks PER HOUR in Geneva — and that’s the LOW END. going out costs so bloody much, it BETTER be good. xx
Oh Geneva prices – how I don’t miss you. $50 for a hamburger and french fries, and that’s for reals yo! I could have triplets and send all them of them to Harvard with the money I blew on food and drinks while living there. I feel your pain Judy!