Mommy has never spent more time at the mall then she has while on maternity leave. The irony of this is that Mommy has never been more broke and she can’t afford to buy anything. However, she can’t resist falling into Baby GAP. Her maternity benefits barely cover a Raspberry Rush from Jugo Juice, but it will cover this argyle sweater vest with skull and cross bones embroidery. A bear riding a motorcycle? On a onesie? Clearly you need to own this. Oooh little shoes! Mommy will take several pairs because you can’t walk yet so that makes perfect sense. Mommy’s closet looks like the “before” segment on What Not To Wear but your wardrobe could grace the pages of Bébé Vogue. Perhaps Mommy should feel bad that children not much older than you made these clothes but when the price tag reads $19.99 and there’s an additional 30% thanks to the online coupon, ring it up!
DRINK: The Memory GAP. Drink more than one of these and that’s what you’ll have. ½ oz cherry brandy, ½ oz light rum, ½ oz dark rum, 3 oz grapefruit juice, 1 oz orange juice, splash of grenadine. Serve over crushed ice.