The time has come for Mommy’s mandatory “bring the baby to the office” trip. Mommy carefully scheduled the visit during one of your feeding windows, as her lack of skill with the Hooter Hider would inevitably lead to a traumatic nipple-flashing episode. Mommy’s inbox has been overflowing with emails about how excited everyone is to meet you, although she knows they’re actually just dying to see how much of her baby weight she’s lost. None of her business casual wear fits, so Mommy had to truck it to Banana Republic yesterday to buy a half-price polyester frock she’ll never wear again, and take her hair straightener and MAC Studio Fix out of hiding. Mommy will put on her best “really interested” face as she’s updated on the latest office politics and business results, while secretly dreaming about “The Bachelor” episode waiting on her PVR. As you’re passed around from one colleague to the next, she’ll also try to block out what she recently read about keyboards being five times germier than toilet seats. Mommy really hopes you don’t cry, unless it’s when she’s caught in conversation with that guy from accounting who can’t read social cues.
DRINK: The 7-Day Weekend. ½ oz pineapple rum, ½ oz light rum, 6 oz 7 Up. Enjoy over ice in a chilled cocktail glass the next time you feel like celebrating the fact that you can wear pajamas 24/7.
I can’t believe that there aren’t any comments to this? I agree with your sentiments. I dreaded the first office visit and delayed it until my baby was 3 months old and haven’t brought him back since. I actually had to sit in a 1.5 hour staff meeting with him after a shabby 2 minute “congratulations on your baby” cake introduction! He had the good sense to fall asleep- which is what everyone longed to do themselves! Bo-ring!
You had to sit through a staff meeting?? Oh dear. At least there was cake. I’m not sure why women are forced to do this parade. I don’t see the men bringing in their new additions (unless said “new addition” is an iPad 2).
I never had to do that! I just quit working and never looked back until school was out and I had to go pack up all my crap!
On a side note- I saw the host of the Bachelor the other day walking out of a drug store! He’s SHORT, but cute!
You saw Chris Harrison??? Jealous! Did you ask what the deal with Bentley is? Is he really coming back for Emily’s season?
I love this show too much.
I don’t actually like the show or watch it…I’m more of a Next Top Model girl.
The office parade is a good thing – really.
It allows you to prove to your coworkers that ” yes – yes – I did in fact push a human being through my body, and if you thought I was a bitch BEFORE I got pregnant wait until I get back!
Word-to-your-muther!
As long as one parades through the office in fabulous shoes, of course.