The time has come for Mommy’s mandatory “bring the baby to the office” trip. Mommy carefully scheduled the visit during one of your feeding windows, as her lack of skill with the Hooter Hider would inevitably lead to a traumatic nipple-flashing episode. Mommy’s inbox has been overflowing with emails about how excited everyone is to meet you, although she knows they’re actually just dying to see how much of her baby weight she’s lost. None of her business casual wear fits, so Mommy had to truck it to Banana Republic yesterday to buy a half-price polyester frock she’ll never wear again, and take her hair straightener and MAC Studio Fix out of hiding. Mommy will put on her best “really interested” face as she’s updated on the latest office politics and business results, while secretly dreaming about “The Bachelor” episode waiting on her PVR. As you’re passed around from one colleague to the next, she’ll also try to block out what she recently read about keyboards being five times germier than toilet seats. Mommy really hopes you don’t cry, unless it’s when she’s caught in conversation with that guy from accounting who can’t read social cues.
DRINK: The 7-Day Weekend. ½ oz pineapple rum, ½ oz light rum, 6 oz 7 Up. Enjoy over ice in a chilled cocktail glass the next time you feel like celebrating the fact that you can wear pajamas 24/7.